Well, if Baby Stoffel doesn't come anytime soon, I'm due for a form of induction on November 5th, a week from my EDD. They're afraid she would get too big to wait and risk having to be delivered via caesarean section. Fine with me, I'm tired if carrying this kid inside of me. This pregnancy has been hell on me, on my body.
Our money troubles are getting worse, especially this week and next. Despite a better pay/more hours, we are still falling short. I'm not even sure we can meet the monthly car payment this weekend and definitely not my cell bill. I need my phone, damn it, especially with being so close to giving birth. I don't know what to do other than ask for a loan to tide us over on the bills. But everyone I know has financial woes lately. Must be something in the air. /sigh
The baby shower was fun and I received a lot of cute things for her. She just needs to come out already to enjoy them, hah.
Back to sleep. I barely got any last night, and for the past few months. Ugh.
I came home with a new car after all!
2006 Nissan Altima with less than 55k miles and a clear accident record. This car is actually worth more than the Blue Book value because of its upkeep and condition.
For the first time in my life, I am nearly broke and happy about it!
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Many have reassured me that it isn't uncommon, but the last time a fetus didn't measure up to how far along I was, I miscarried. So, forgive me for not having a more positive outlook at this point.My first prenatal appointment is on the 17th. I have been referred to a high-risk specialist. Perhaps s/he can offer a more detailed outline of how well the fetus is adapting inside of me. They did take shitloads of blood from me, after all.Tomorrow, I will see if we can get a better car. The Volvo S40 just isn't cutting it anymore. It now takes 15 miles to the gallon.... on the highway! I've been chugging out 4 gallons a day just to get to work and back... Yeah, its got to go.Okay, the three year old is cranky and loud and throwing a fit. Time to deal with reality.
So, I went in for my first sonogram this morning. I wasn't exactly pleased with the results. Though the heartbeat is perfect and strong, the fetus only measured 8w2d. I am 9w4d along in the pregnancy.
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Never thought I'd ever live to see the day I'd be married. Happily married.
That, in itself, makes those last 7 years worth it.
I love my husband, and I can't say it enough... husband!!
I don't know what will be different and what will be the same. Well, the basics of marriage, of course, will include having to share every assets from thereon, having to work really hard on communication, compromising, and the lot. Those are a given. I'm talking about the deeper aspect of it. Will marriage cause us grief or pure joy? Will Beast realize that this isn't what he thought it would be and start to resent our vows? I'd like to believe that he never will come to that point. And myself, as well.
It's been a whirlwind of an adult life, meeting significant others, leaving significant others, being dumped by significant others. A lot of tears, frustration, anger, hurt and sorrow. And endless arrays of pieces I've had to pick up and repair all over again with each failed relationship. All those flings have only taught me one thing, and that is that flings are meaningless, worthless and useless. Just a means to an end, mostly to satisfy a physical/sexual craving of which I barely enjoyed.
I am ready. By gods, I am truly, completely ready to be a real adult. That's not to say those who chose to remain a bachelor/bachelorette are not real adults. I simply mean that, for me, my avoidance of such a huge commitment rendered me childish in my own judgment of myself. I am finally ready to grow up and act as a mother should act... as a doting wife and mother.
I just wish I weren't such a ball of nerves right now. Not because I am fearful of being married to the person who claimed my heart so long ago. But because I'm getting married! I can't explain it any other way that would make more sense to you. But it makes sense to me.
So long and adieu, Miss Clota Lynn Wilkerson... you are to be replaced by Mrs. Clota Lynn Stoffel soon. Nice knowing you!
Also, please remove email@example.com from your address book, and add firstname.lastname@example.org.
Posting will commence once I get the hang of this thing!
Yes, that is right, I said fat. I reserve the right to use that word as freely as I damn well please, because I am a fat person. Obese? That's just a medically nicer way of calling you fat. Fat by another name is still just as fat. Moving on...
Now, what I don't get is why can't a person be given a chance in hell because of who s/he is rather than because of how s/he looks? Can't anyone see beyond the cover, and read the pages to gain an attraction? I've often discarded several books because the title and picture in front wasn't catchy... then I would give them a shot.. And you know what? These books were fucking awesome! I berated myself for tossing them to begin with, which made me no better than a man who turns his eyes away the minute a fat woman comes across his line of sight!
Sure, you tell me I am outraged because I am a fat person. If I were thin, I wouldn't be giving this so much as a second thought. Well, guess what? That would be where you are wrong! As a kid, I was a very lean and fast (as in running, you perverts!) girl. I was a looker, by all means! I have photos to prove it! But, even then, I was infuriated every time I heard snide remarks about fat kids, ugly kids, stupid kids. I would come to their defense right quick, and try my best to make the person of the scorn feel better. It is not because I'm fat that I sympathize with others like myself; it is that I give a good goddamn about how people are treated!
Not long ago, I read that a certain person prefers to have a woman smaller than himself. Just another way of saying, "I don't want a fat woman." Fortunately, I know this person enough to know he didn't mean it in a demeaning way; He simply prefers his mate to be smaller. I guess that is understandable - who would want to be crushed under the weight of a fat person? But he at least does not shun fat people. Rather, he treats them with respect. For that, he earns brownie points with me!
If anyone I date tells me, "I will not marry you until you lose weight, because I want my woman healthy so that I can outlive you...because I love you too much to have you die first!" I would smack that bastard in the face so hard his head spins, and I will never speak to him again!
There are millions of fat people. We are not going to go away. Deal with us, and show us the respect you seem to reserve for your thinner counterparts.. We are fat and we are beautiful!
Fuck you for thinking otherwise.
Everybody here has been very generous and sweet. There has been moments, but in life, there are always moments. The good has far outweighted any bad times.
Thank you, Carla, for all your support, for allowing my girls and I to be a part of your family, and for the honor of allowing me to get to know you. We both are different, more than day and night, but we made it work, and I will be eternally grateful unto you and Paul for all that you have done for my little family. Neither you and Paul, and your girls, will be forgotten.
It pains me to go, more than I let on, but I know you all understand my needs and that of my son's. Still, I cry a little until I fall asleep, knowing that I'm leaving the safety and security, and friendships that I have formed in the last 8 months.
You all will be in my heart, always....
I cannot stop pooping. I do not mean diarrhea or constipation. I mean your regular run-of-the-mill pooping. I do not know where the hell it hides, or how it can hold so much poop. Nearly every hour, I'm cussing at my colon.. What the fucking fuck, colon?! You have to release a shitbomb again?? Srsly, quit it! Really, it's getting ridiculous.
Michael is off to school once again. We are considering buying a home soon. 30k, one thousand down, rent is approximately $300 a month. House needs a lot of work, but he and I are able. Well, he can fix things and I can break stuff for him to fix. I somehow doubt he would find that amusing... Anyway, I will update on that once I know more.
Those FML feeds is getting on my nerves lately. Seriously, who cares if you spent a bazillion dollars preparing a proposal scene; she had the balls to propose instead, and money can't buy that kind of love! Get over it, asswipe.
Zara all of a sudden cannot live without the yellow baby blanket she's had since before birth. This happened overnight, it seems. At least she isn't sucking on her thumb or pacifier like some other toddlers I've seen. Up here, babies get spoiled.
Zoya is her usual follow-the-leader self. I wish she would be her own person, and be a leader, but that's her personality, who am I to try to change who she is?
Zebediah is okay, as far as I know. Fractured his leg when Mary's huge 52" TV fell on it. Don't ask.
And then the colon calls...again. Argh!
So, you see, I am trying to raise as much as I can. If you are willing, I am once again posting a site that has paid me several times simply for doing offers or for referrals. None of my referrals are active, but I did earn $0.50 for each sign-up, and I was able to withdraw that into my PayPal.
You do not have to complete any offers or enter any contests/games, if you do not want to. All I ask is that you sign up under my referral link. Simple as that. Of course, I strongly encourage you to read the FAQs and instructions on how to complete offers/contests/games and give it a shot, yourself. I do not care that you do anything that would give me extras, I simply want you to sign-up.
For nearly six years, this woman has toiled over her studies. So many times, she has wanted to just quit because the workload was so overwhelming. She faced several hard obstacles throughout the years. She has had to deal with her youngster's potential learning disabilities, as well as run a single-family household. She has had to deal with her own mental exhaustion and loneliness.
She fought, tooth and nails, to get to where she is today. Many a times, I have had to listen to her whine about how she wanted the semester to be over, already. I have had to listen to her rant about her professors, her classes, her grades. I have had to reassure her and keep her going. I have had to push her education on her, beg her to continue, to finish.
Through it all, she stuck it out, even when she felt like she could do no more. She braved the odds and defeated each huge hurdle that she encountered along the way.
That woman is now graduating in May from the University of Texas at Arlington. Not only that, she is also graduating in the top 1% of all May graduates.
She, my friends, is graduating with the highest honors of Magna Cum Laude with a Bachelor's in Education.
Please extend your warmest, sincerest congratulations to my friend, Miss Opal Luedke!
At first, I thought it might be bullshit. But what have I got to lose, but my time?
So I spammed (yes, I spammed! I've become a spammer!) for a week and half. Reached the minimum pay-out, and requested to be paid this morning.
I just now checked. It's there. In my PayPal. All $20.90 of it (plus more from other resources, such as DollarSurvey.net and Cashle.com).
Holy shit. I got paid!
Too bad I cannot withdraw that money and have it in my pockets. But I can at least use it to buy stuff I need online, yes?
Holy shit. I got paid for being a spammer!
And I don't feel bad about it. I do not even mind getting spam anymore, I just chuckle and delete 'em.
Just as others delete mine.
I. Got. Paid!
On The Outside Chance You're Interested...
And because I really like this site a lot...
Open to all post on the outside chance someone would google something and come across my post. :-P
I am shameless. Shameless, I tells ya!
The first is:
Mentor: The Kid & The CEO by Tom Pace. Fiction
This book is a very, very easy read. It is awesome, inspirational and makes me want to get out there and start doing something to improve the quality of my life and that of my daughters'. The language is the cleanest I've ever read, and Pace gives it to us straight. If you are in need of some wisdom, some inspiration, or just a very easy, entertaining read, I strongly recommend this book. I finished it in less than a day; it was that good!
And now to the second:
The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum. Fiction.
If "splashpunk" is your thing, this is a definite choice. But, beware, it deals with extremely sensitive nature, such as child abuse. I know many of you have read a lot of books about child abuse, but this is more than I have ever dealt with, and I am not easily fazed by much of anything, even the most grisly. Ketchum's description of the abuse is very gory, violent and heartrending. I found myself clenching my fists and toes at certain parts, pleading with this boy to end the craziness, and dreaded the next page, not knowing what Ketchum would hit me with next. If you are highly sensitive and have a weak stomach, do not pick up a copy of this book. I am not kidding. Only the brave, the guttiest, the courageous and the hardiest should ever give this book a shot. Also a fascinating read (the old adage in play here: Want to look away but cannot...), enough that I could not put it down and thus finished it in a day.
PS: I included links in the titles for your convenience. I am that nice. :-P
Well, as of today, a total of $5.38 has been POSTED into my PayPal!
It is silly-easy, but it does take patience. You complete brief surveys and offers. The thing is you don't have to COMPLETE the offers. You just click on the offers, let them load up completely, then go to the next page of the original page (silver/gold/platinum). After you've clicked on all the offers it tells you to (2 to 6 offers), you go back to Cashle (everything opens in a new window) and claim the offer as completed.
You just need ONE DOLLAR accumulated to withdraw money into your PayPal (or whatever else you have... There are a few other "online bank" things they work with).
Most surveys are from 20 cents to 90 cents. Some are over a dollar... Anyway, I'm enthralled, yay!
Just make sure you read all the FAQs about how to do the surveys/offers carefully. Much simpler than you think. Really! And I'm on dial-up, think about that.
These cookies are so devastatingly succulent and decadent, it should be outlawed!
I. Rock. Period.
Lately, all I have been doing is internet surveys and PTC/PTRM (Paid To Click/Paid To Read Mail). Laugh all you want, but I will tell you this much - I have been paid several times through PayPal in the last two weeks just by participating and clicking, you have no idea! This has been such a lifesaver, I am able to purchase what I need online using the moneys that has been deposited in my PayPal just for this cause. It is not much, but it helps! It would be nice to be able to transfer these funds to a bank or, at the very least, have a PayPal card I can use. But since I do not have a banking account or PayPal card for this account, I buy online.
I'm going to slap you silly with a few referral links below, just because I can. Well, I would be GRATEFUL if you signed up under my referral, because I get paid some percentage (and no, they do not take it out of YOURS), so it is just something I thought I would do here, just this once. Skip over this, if you want. Oh wait, I didn't say anything until the very end, so now you are fucked. Bwahaha!
Okay, that is it for now... :-P
If I had a choice, I would go to bed late AND wake up late. As it is, my body is not attuned for such lengthy sleep cycles. The most I can hope for is 6 hours, with half an hour of wakefulness sometime during the night.
Basically, I can pass out at 8:30PM, wake up at Midnight, go back to sleep at 2AM, then up again at 5:30AM. And I don't really sleep. I sleep so lightly, I am never really rested.
I can also pass out after Midnight, awaken some 4 hours later, return to bed soon enough and then up again at 5:30 or 5:15. Sometimes 6:15AM, if I am lucky.
Sleep and I are not exactly on friendly terms at the moment.