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I came home with a new car after all!

 

2006 Nissan Altima with less than 55k miles and a clear accident record. This car is actually worth more than the Blue Book value because of its upkeep and condition.

 

For the first time in my life, I am nearly broke and happy about it!

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

We have been married for almost 2 weeks (tomorrow), and I still can't believe it! I have a husband! He is my husband!

Husband....

Never thought I'd ever live to see the day I'd be married. Happily married.

To him.

That, in itself, makes those last 7 years worth it.

I love my husband, and I can't say it enough... husband!!

Tomorrow night, I will be a married woman. For the first time in my life, I will finally have been legally claimed as someone's very own. The very thought scares me, as I have avoided marriage for all of my adult life. Only once have I came damned close to being married, and this was 12 years ago. Luckily, I came to my senses and ripped that marriage certificate into shreds. Good thing I did, too, as the girls' biological father was not for me, no matter how long and how much effort I put in trying to make us work.

I don't know what will be different and what will be the same. Well, the basics of marriage, of course, will include having to share every assets from thereon, having to work really hard on communication, compromising, and the lot. Those are a given. I'm talking about the deeper aspect of it. Will marriage cause us grief or pure joy? Will Beast realize that this isn't what he thought it would be and start to resent our vows? I'd like to believe that he never will come to that point. And myself, as well.

It's been a whirlwind of an adult life, meeting significant others, leaving significant others, being dumped by significant others. A lot of tears, frustration, anger, hurt and sorrow. And endless arrays of pieces I've had to pick up and repair all over again with each failed relationship. All those flings have only taught me one thing, and that is that flings are meaningless, worthless and useless. Just a means to an end, mostly to satisfy a physical/sexual craving of which I barely enjoyed.

I am ready. By gods, I am truly, completely ready to be a real adult. That's not to say those who chose to remain a bachelor/bachelorette are not real adults. I simply mean that, for me, my avoidance of such a huge commitment rendered me childish in my own judgment of myself. I am finally ready to grow up and act as a mother should act... as a doting wife and mother.

I just wish I weren't such a ball of nerves right now. Not because I am fearful of being married to the person who claimed my heart so long ago. But because I'm getting married! I can't explain it any other way that would make more sense to you. But it makes sense to me.

So long and adieu, Miss Clota Lynn Wilkerson... you are to be replaced by Mrs. Clota Lynn Stoffel soon. Nice knowing you!

What the hell is it with people, men, women and children alike? What gives you the God-given right to judge people on their appearance? To stare and jeer, point and laugh? Does it make you feel like a better, bigger (no pun intended) person to lower the self-esteem of fat people?

Yes, that is right, I said fat. I reserve the right to use that word as freely as I damn well please, because I am a fat person. Obese? That's just a medically nicer way of calling you fat. Fat by another name is still just as fat. Moving on...

Now, what I don't get is why can't a person be given a chance in hell because of who s/he is rather than because of how s/he looks? Can't anyone see beyond the cover, and read the pages to gain an attraction? I've often discarded several books because the title and picture in front wasn't catchy... then I would give them a shot.. And you know what? These books were fucking awesome! I berated myself for tossing them to begin with, which made me no better than a man who turns his eyes away the minute a fat woman comes across his line of sight!

Sure, you tell me I am outraged because I am a fat person. If I were thin, I wouldn't be giving this so much as a second thought. Well, guess what? That would be where you are wrong! As a kid, I was a very lean and fast (as in running, you perverts!) girl. I was a looker, by all means! I have photos to prove it! But, even then, I was infuriated every time I heard snide remarks about fat kids, ugly kids, stupid kids. I would come to their defense right quick, and try my best to make the person of the scorn feel better. It is not because I'm fat that I sympathize with others like myself; it is that I give a good goddamn about how people are treated!

Not long ago, I read that a certain person prefers to have a woman smaller than himself. Just another way of saying, "I don't want a fat woman." Fortunately, I know this person enough to know he didn't mean it in a demeaning way; He simply prefers his mate to be smaller. I guess that is understandable - who would want to be crushed under the weight of a fat person? But he at least does not shun fat people. Rather, he treats them with respect. For that, he earns brownie points with me!

If anyone I date tells me, "I will not marry you until you lose weight, because I want my woman healthy so that I can outlive you...because I love you too much to have you die first!" I would smack that bastard in the face so hard his head spins, and I will never speak to him again!

There are millions of fat people. We are not going to go away. Deal with us, and show us the respect you seem to reserve for your thinner counterparts.. We are fat and we are beautiful!

Fuck you for thinking otherwise.

I am going to be attempting a trip to Texas on August 1st, and staying for about 4 days.

I have not touched Texas soil since December... That's the longest ever for me.

Wish me luck.

I just deleted some readers. But I did it on my phone, so if you find yourself removed, comment here and I will see if I accidentally deleted you. If I did, you will be re-added immediately. If you get no response/action, then that means I really didn't want you on my FL anymore.

Nothing personal.

This post is in honor of a very special, close friend of mine.

For nearly six years, this woman has toiled over her studies. So many times, she has wanted to just quit because the workload was so overwhelming. She faced several hard obstacles throughout the years. She has had to deal with her youngster's potential learning disabilities, as well as run a single-family household. She has had to deal with her own mental exhaustion and loneliness.

She fought, tooth and nails, to get to where she is today. Many a times, I have had to listen to her whine about how she wanted the semester to be over, already. I have had to listen to her rant about her professors, her classes, her grades. I have had to reassure her and keep her going. I have had to push her education on her, beg her to continue, to finish.

Through it all, she stuck it out, even when she felt like she could do no more. She braved the odds and defeated each huge hurdle that she encountered along the way.

That woman is now graduating in May from the University of Texas at Arlington. Not only that, she is also graduating in the top 1% of all May graduates.

She, my friends, is graduating with the highest honors of Magna Cum Laude with a Bachelor's in Education.

Please extend your warmest, sincerest congratulations to my friend, Miss Opal Luedke!
green_slave

I recently read two books in the last three days. Both of them has hit me hard in their own way.

The first is:

Mentor: The Kid & The CEO by Tom Pace. Fiction
This book is a very, very easy read. It is awesome, inspirational and makes me want to get out there and start doing something to improve the quality of my life and that of my daughters'. The language is the cleanest I've ever read, and Pace gives it to us straight. If you are in need of some wisdom, some inspiration, or just a very easy, entertaining read, I strongly recommend this book. I finished it in less than a day; it was that good!

And now to the second:

The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum. Fiction.
If "splashpunk" is your thing, this is a definite choice. But, beware, it deals with extremely sensitive nature, such as child abuse. I know many of you have read a lot of books about child abuse, but this is more than I have ever dealt with, and I am not easily fazed by much of anything, even the most grisly. Ketchum's description of the abuse is very gory, violent and heartrending. I found myself clenching my fists and toes at certain parts, pleading with this boy to end the craziness, and dreaded the next page, not knowing what Ketchum would hit me with next. If you are highly sensitive and have a weak stomach, do not pick up a copy of this book. I am not kidding. Only the brave, the guttiest, the courageous and the hardiest should ever give this book a shot. Also a fascinating read (the old adage in play here: Want to look away but cannot...), enough that I could not put it down and thus finished it in a day.

PS: I included links in the titles for your convenience. I am that nice. :-P

I just made peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies, baked to perfection.

These cookies are so devastatingly succulent and decadent, it should be outlawed!

I. Rock. Period.

Lately, all I have been doing is internet surveys and PTC/PTRM (Paid To Click/Paid To Read Mail). Laugh all you want, but I will tell you this much - I have been paid several times through PayPal in the last two weeks just by participating and clicking, you have no idea! This has been such a lifesaver, I am able to purchase what I need online using the moneys that has been deposited in my PayPal just for this cause. It is not much, but it helps! It would be nice to be able to transfer these funds to a bank or, at the very least, have a PayPal card I can use. But since I do not have a banking account or PayPal card for this account, I buy online.

I'm going to slap you silly with a few referral links below, just because I can. Well, I would be GRATEFUL if you signed up under my referral, because I get paid some percentage (and no, they do not take it out of YOURS), so it is just something I thought I would do here, just this once. Skip over this, if you want. Oh wait, I didn't say anything until the very end, so now you are fucked. Bwahaha!

*ahem*

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Cash4Free

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Okay, that is it for now... :-P